Harvest Moon
by stephanie9557
Summary: When Nessie passes away, Jacob and Bella both fall into a very dark place. Can anything save them from their own pain?


HARVEST MOON

By S.J. Wright

Nobody ever told him what to do if the center of his universe collapsed. Nothing ever could have prepared him. Not even the dark knowledge of Bella's choice of Edward over him could have given him a clue as to how he would feel when he saw the life leave Nessie's eyes and her small hand grow cold within his own.

Three years. He'd only had three short years to bask in the glow that was Renessmee Cullen. She had filled his soul more completely than he ever thought possible. Every smile she sent him was a gift. Every word a treasure. There was warmth and life and love in her every gesture. By her fourth birthday, she looked like she was an agile ten-year-old girl. But she'd had an eternal kind of wisdom that endeared her to everyone.

Five days after her birthday, she came to her mother and said she felt strange. Carlisle mentioned the possibility of some kind of virus but he couldn't imagine what might help her. She stopped feeding. Then she stopped the mental projections and within eight hours, she couldn't walk. Edward had laid her out across her pink bedspread, her gorgeous dark hair spread around her angelic face. And as they watched in growing horror, she slipped away from them all while Jacob gripped one of her hands and Bella held the other.

Jacob Black's eyes closed. His breath came and went in deep gasps and spasms of black pain began to slide down his spine like cold fingers. The delicate white fingers of her hand were moving and for a brief moment, a fiery spark of hope leapt within him. Until he realized his own hands were trembling with his grief. There was a roaring somewhere near him and the soul-wrenching sound of Bella keening in stricken misery.

None of it mattered. With the light and laughter ripped away, nothing mattered just then to Jacob. Still trembling, he leaned down and pressed his lips to her smooth cheek. It seemed like a dream to him suddenly. Like a slow-motion, unrealistic vision clouded over with black nothingness. But her skin remained, even in death, lovely and yielding in its softness.

Nothing mattered. But he whispered one last endearment, hoping that wherever she was, she would perceive his thoughts.

"Sleep, angel. We'll meet again." One salty tear fell and landed on the hand of the woman who had given birth to this angel, this peaceful sweet creature.

Jacob rose from his place and moved towards the door because the darkness of the forest called to every pulsing, painful nerve in his body. His dark eyes were full of stormy intentions. Alice, who sat weeping at the bedroom door tried to touch his hand on his way out. No one had the energy to stop him.

He wanted to be utterly surrounded by the darkest forest he could reach. A place where the birds' meager offerings of songs would be the only assault on his ears. A place where the towering firs would stand in silent condemnation, offering nothing but dark wordless comfort. He would only need fear the breath of winds across his russet wolf pelt. Those, being inadequate imitations of her own heavenly caresses, might lead him down the dark path of madness.

But there would be no vampires offering condolences. It would please him greatly if he never laid eyes on another of those bloodsuckers ever again. He had barely reached the edges of the forest calling out to him before he felt the explosion of anger burst forth from him. With a rip of already tattered jean shorts, his exquisitely muscled body smoothly transitioned into the beast that he hoped would carry him away from it all and all of _them_ for a very, very long time.

The tiniest of splashes struck the back of my hand where I had gripped Nessie's nightgown. Time seemed to slow down. I watched Jacob's tear pool on the surface of my skin. What a precious, simple parting gift. I felt the moisture there, and the unusual warmth from a tiny bit of Jake's anguish. I turned away from my daughter and saw that Edward had moved to the window, his posture stiff and guarded.

"Somebody… There must be something!" I heard my voice come through, but it seemed muffled and so unreal. "This can't happen…." Hands surrounded me. Cold, hard hands trying to offer comfort in vain to this beautiful vampire who had just said goodbye for the final time to her first and only child. Saying goodbye to a dream, a thin ray of hope

There was no answer. There was no solution. At that moment, I felt my soul crumbling. Parts of it were falling away into the deepest abyss imaginable, never to be recovered. I wondered absently if there would be anything left of me when this horrible shaking stopped.

And that's when things started to fade away. The sounds around me began to lighten and become softer, less focused. The faces around me were white and cold as stone. Even they began to fade away. Then everything floated away on a wave of gray mist, encompassing everything within it and leaving me with nothing.

_He's gone too far. I can't hear him at all._

_We know, Leah. Come home. _Seth's silent communication said it all.

Jacob could be anywhere. He'd shut down all lines of communication between himself and the pack. Leah knew that the call of the forest was especially strong whenever one of their kind suffered a loss and that Jacob had done this before. But she wasn't about to let him run away again.

_Seth, I'm going to try to track him. Stay with the Cullens. _She lowered her head to the green of the forest floor, her canine sense of smell straining to pick up the scent of her leader.

_Leah, you'll never find him. You know Jake._

She sent out a husky, mirthless laugh. _I do know Jake. And if he's heading down a path to self destruction, I know there's only one person who can bring him back._

There was a shocked pause from Seth before he could answer her. _She's not in any shape to help anybody, Leah. She may be further gone than Jake is. The Cullens are all terrified that Bella isn't going to make it._

_What? She's a freaking vampire, Seth. What's wrong with her?_

_She doesn't respond to anything. Edward's been pulling his hair out. _Seth's fear came through to Leah in waves. _Everyone is losing it here, Leah. They can't seem to accept the fact that Nessie is gone. Rosalie took off right after it happened and not even Emmett knows where she is._

Leah doubled her efforts to pick up Jake's unique scent, loping in wider circles around the town of Forks and the Cullens' place. Giving up wasn't an option. She knew what was at stake. They could lose Jake forever to the darkness growing inside him. The Cullens could lose Bella. She was no fan of vampires, but Bella had always been different somehow. Leah knew she had to find Jacob.

"Bella. _Please_ drink."

The voice was oddly familiar but I couldn't seem to connect a name or face to it. It was a female. That was all I could put together because along with the voice, there was an odor so strong and distracting that my mind couldn't wrap itself around anything but getting away from that horrible smell. They were putting something to my mouth but I couldn't stand it.

"No. Get it away." I croaked, cringing away from the stench. I wanted to throw up.

I heard a curse close by me and struggled to open my eyes. The darkness was beginning to close in around me again. Before it closed over me completely, a face materialized. But I hadn't opened my eyes. This familiar face was so clear, I was startled. Those dark eyes compelled me to whisper a name.

"Jacob."


End file.
